Janet Street Porter
Young though she still looks, somebody should give JANET STREET-PORTER a lifetime achievement award before her many and varied achievements get too numerous to summarise. I’m only skimming the surface by mentioning the following: journalist, radio and tv presenter, travel writer, writer of books and tv programmes about walking, incisive columnist in The Independent, The Observer and The Mail on Sunday, Editor of The Independent on Sunday for a while – and recently she has appeared on tv working in turn as a teacher, a nurse and a cabbie, not to mention her exploits on “I’m a Celebrity….”. So I am very grateful to Janet for finding the time to look at some examples of my work and for sending me her good wishes. As Janet is very I.T. savvy I sent her the sorry story of when I managed to empty my glass of wine all over my computer keyboard. But all ended well when I took the advice of a member of the Security team at my then place of employment:
Now hands that do dishes can be soft as your interface….
And you thought it was all over – but that keyboard’s doing fine!
I listened to McNulty – he’s a bloody clever bloke
He’d said, put it in the bath, dear, for five minutes there to soak
In warm and soapy water and to give it a wee scrub
To remove the sticky residue left by wine or tea or grub.
Well, the I.S. team was sceptical and M.I.S. likewise
And I myself a bit afraid to do what Fred advised
But then I thought there’s nothing lost by giving it a try
So I washed my tipsy keyboard and then hung it out to dry.
The next day then I plugged it in and typed a line or two
Alas the thing was still confused and knew not what to do
Nil desperandum, give it time, it’s not quite dry I thought
And five days later, true enough, the miracle was wrought!
My keyboard’s now recovered and it’s thanks to my friend Fred
I’m glad that I did not dismiss the wise things that he said.
So if your hardware takes to drink or drugs or some impurity
Don’t throw it out – give it a chance – just telephone Security!
